I♥Tucson Reason #4 - Runway Bar & Grill

Sometimes, we all feel like poking fun. As human beings, it is in our nature to give a little ribbing to that which we cannot understand, or that which we could never dream to achieve. Here at IHeartTucson, we do take our job seriously and will dish the occasional bon mot, but we never, ever will joke about Art. True Art is from the soul and when you see a masterpiece, you can feel it in your every being, and it is no laughing matter.

Fellow Tucsonianites - we must consider ourself awesomely blessed to be able to feel this way every day. Without further ado, let us present the Runway Bar & Grill.

They painted over the "PROJECT" when Michael Kohrs threatened to leave.

You may be thinking WTF? but you really should be thinking OMFG! instead. For real. Since IHeartTucson has had the benefit of countless hours of serious Art education at one of this state's finer community colleges, let us be your guide in deciphering what it is that makes the Runway so awesome.

(1) Triptych
One of the easiest ways to tell if something is a masterpiece is to determine if it is a triptych. Virtually everything that has been created in this three-panel format can be considered (a) a masterpiece, and (b) priceless. One of the more famous examples of a triptych is Heironymous Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights which depicts (from left to right) the garden of Eden, humans enjoying themselves in a utopian setting prior to the Fall from Grace, and finally a scene from Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

This poster is in approximately 15,000,000 dormitory rooms at this very moment.

The mural adorning the Runway wall is also a triptych, depicting (from left to right) humans enjoying themselves in a utopian setting prior to Closing Time, the eponymous runway, and finally a scene from Airplane II: The Sequel.

Flight attendants, prepare for awesomeness.

(2) Trompe L'oeil
Another signature element of a masterpiece is the use of Trompe L'oeil - a technique where the viewer of the work is fooled to think that something rendered on a flat surface is actually three-dimensional. Trompe L'oeil is actually the French translation of Trick the Eye, not to be confused with another popular French phrase, Trompe L'Americain D'Imbecile. An example of this technique can be seen below; the oculus painting at the Palazzo Ducale by Andrea Mantegna completed in 1474.

Your eye just got artistically Punk'd.

Not to be outdone, the Runway has two major Trompe L'oeil elements. The first is a hyper-realistic WWII era fighter plane coming in for a landing on Alvernon Way.

You'll swear that this is coming straight at 'cha.

The other element is a visually tricky break-away-see-thru view of the inside of the establishment itself, replete with attractive patrons who are wiling away their happy hours. This can be seen in the left pane of the triptych.

No, it's not your x-ray vision, it's Trompe L'oeil

(3) Use of Focal Point
Master artists have a variety of tools at their disposal. One that can affect great visual impact is the subtle but effective inclusion of a focal point in the work. As seen below in the Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci, a central figure is high-lighted which makes him the focus of all the other ancillary figures. This technique continually draws a viewer's gaze toward the focal point.

All Eyez on JC

In the Runway mural, a textbook example of focal point usage can be seen in near the bar. It is ultimately up to the viewer of this work to determine why the artist chose to make this figure the focus of attention. The flat-topped-crew-cut man is awarded with the devoted attention of all the other bar patrons, both male and female. Is it because he is famous? Or because his fly is down? We may never know.

The plainclothes cop suspected that his cover was irrevocably blown.

(4) Social Commentary
Art is not just about pretty pictures; all masterpieces have underlying messages which comment on the events, struggles, and successes of society at the time that a work is created. The Runway is no exception - the element of social commentary is particularly visible in the right panel of the triptych.

This is not the new paint scheme for Virgin Airways

A small detail is in the cockpit window - it is none other than the infamous Captain "Sully" - the Hero of the Hudson - solely responsible for safely landing a U.S. Airways jet on the Hudson river in NYC, pulling the survivors out of the icy cold water, and diving down to the sinking plane to retrieve everyone's carry-on AND personal items. Who better to have piloting your mural?

What is that woman doing in the cockpit?
Maybe Sully was distracted when he hit those birds?

The most blatant commentary element is, of course, the painting of Jennifer Lopez done in pin-up style right below the cockpit window. She is wearing next to nothing, and holding a bottle of what obviously is barbecue sauce. The Art professors that IHeartTucson consulted with have all agreed that this imagery conveys the message: don't sit next to J-Lo on an airplane, even in first class, as she will go diva on your ass, take your BBQ sauce, then point at you and say "Nuh-uh papi."

What kind of BBQ sauce? KC Masterpiece of course.

(5) Subtext
The last portion of a masterpiece to consider is the subtext. This refers to the little messages that are buried within, waiting to be discovered like that piece of onion ring that sometimes makes an appearance in your french fry cup. Here are some things regarding Runway Bar & Grill you may want to ponder:

• It is not located near an airport nor near a runway (a hidden implication that the place is a landing pad for those seeking libations and fun).
  
• Subconsciously reinforces the relationship between piloting and alcohol (keeping pilots happy is always a good thing).
  
• There is one Pittsburgh Steelers fan in the mural (note that this ensures there will always be patrons on Sundays).
• Has a Smok!ng Patio (for those of us who like to Smok! when we drink)
  

Can you spot the typo? Yes, it should have been "Pat!o"

There are really no more words to describe the degree to which the Runway Bar & Grill has multiplied Tucson's awesomeness factor. This is mainly because I am tired of extolling its virtues, but also because like all other masterpieces, it takes . . .

. . . more than words to show you feel
that your love for Tucson is real
then you wouldn't have to say
that you Heart TUC
cause I'd already know . . .