I♥Tucson Reason #6 – Under The Sea

When it comes to summer in Tucson, this town is awesome. A bunch of old folks leave and the streets get safer. A bunch of college aged kids leave and the streets get safer. The police swap out the speed limit signs so everyone can go 65 on Speedway again. In fact, if you get into a car accident in Tucson in the summer, it is probably because you were playing Angry Birds on some kind of mobile device and had a single car accident with a street sign.

But, as awesome as Tucson is in the summer, there is something that constantly draws at and nags all Tucsonianites - the Pacific Ocean. We can't help it that we're landlocked and that we only see two shades of blue on a regular basis (the sky and the UA blue). But the sea is just a long drive away, and most of us are enjoying driving in Tucson too much to make that long haul.

Well - fear not, because the sea is here - in Tucson - at this place:

At least Pac-Man was able to get a job in this economy

No - this is not just a great place to get those things for you car to be able to drive to the ocean. Take a peek around the side and be prepared to be magically transported under the sea!

The dolphin sharpened its beak and zeroed in to attack its unsuspecting prey

Beautiful dolphins cavorting in the surf!

Seeing how the London Bridge loves Arizona, the Loch Ness Monster followed suit

Colorful reef fish and um . . . a baby Nessie. That's a little strange.

Did you know: Leif Eriksson didn't just discover America, but Arizona too?

And sunken Viking dragon boats with ghoul-like sails. Hey, what ocean did you say this was again?

And whew - a submarine. Just a normal submarine. I thought this trip was headed somewhere into Johnny Depp's subconscious - you know, the place where he keeps Keith Richard's soul hostage so the Pirate movies can be made. Let's just zoom out a little bit. . .

. . . O MAI GD . . . GIANT MECHA-SHARK !!!!

You know what folks, screw the ocean. Tucson is land-locked and proud of it and doesn't need ghost ships or friggin' Giant Mecha-Sharks. The sea may be a temptress, but if we all work together, we can avoid her siren call and survive in our dry and waterless paradise. So do your part, proud Tucsonianites - drain those pools - empty those pet water bowls - pray for no rain. Retract all of your jokes about California falling off the continental shelf and Arizona becoming beach front property. Let's keep Tucson sea-free. And safe. Cause Giant Mecha-Sharks are awesome to look at, but not that awesome when they're chewing on your leg with razor sharp titanium incisors.

Welcome Back

I guess we need to clear the air about something. I know that two years is a long time to be gone without an explanation, and I don't expect you to believe everything I am saying, but I promise it is true. I am not going to give you the typical "it's not you, it's me" line because I don't want to lie; it wasn't just me, it was kinda you.

I know that you want to know the "why" it happened. This whole world is full of people asking "why, why, why" and saying things like "the truth will set you free" when really, the answers often hurt, especially the real ones. Since I promised to tell you the truth, I am not going to tell you the "why" for your own sake - believe me, you are better off not knowing. But I will tell you the "what" - I know I owe you that at least. The "when" should already be established, but it you can't remember, see the second sentence of this entry.

Sometimes, people get mixed up in activities which can make it feel they are powerless - like a force of nature is pushing and pulling them in some direction they would normally never go in. That is what this was like - it was a friggin' hurricane that has the magical powers to turn you into an automaton. I am warning now that you probably won't believe me.

OK for the last two years, I was on Facebook.

See - you don't believe me. Well here is the proof:

No, I did not Photoshop that image, I was really on Facebook! It just sucked me in with its exhaustive need for micromanagement of mundane details. And all the games . . . all of those game requests that needed to be closed out - it took me forever. People laying their emotions out for their whole world to see. It made me into some kind of emotion-vampire, leeching off all of those highs and lows and always hungry for the next dose. It was just there - I was weak, and it was there.

What? So what if I don't have any friends on Facebook? I had one at first but it was just too much for me to manage our relationship while taking care of all of these other things so I had to drop him. It is just this brilliant multi-faceted diamond that is blinding but fascinating at the same time, no matter which angle faces you. But like a diamond can burn (if it is heated up) so can Facebook, and yes I was burned. Something was posted today - it still hurts too much to say what it was - and all that trust I built up over two years was irrevocably shattered. OK it really doesn't hurt to say what is was - I think it was a picture of a stranger's vagina.

So now I'm back. Hopefully a bit stronger and wiser than before. And I wanted to say I'm sorry - for everything. Can't we just turn it back and have things be like they used to before all the craziness? Can we still be friends - for Tucson's sake?

We can? Cool - why don't you friend me at www.facebook.com